


Someday My Prince Will Come

by windsorblue



Category: Ouran High School Host Club
Genre: Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-11-14
Updated: 2006-11-14
Packaged: 2017-10-14 04:19:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/145311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windsorblue/pseuds/windsorblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>many thanks to <a href="http://thejennabides.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://thejennabides.livejournal.com/"><b>thejennabides</b></a> for the brainstorming and the handholding; <a href="http://merith.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://merith.livejournal.com/"><b>merith</b></a> and <a href="http://darthanne.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://darthanne.livejournal.com/"><b>darthanne</b></a> for the moral support, and <a href="http://lil-1337.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://lil-1337.livejournal.com/"><b>lil_1337</b></a> and <a href="http://misanagi.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://misanagi.livejournal.com/"><b>misanagi</b></a> for the quickie betas.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Someday My Prince Will Come

**Author's Note:**

> many thanks to [](http://thejennabides.livejournal.com/profile)[**thejennabides**](http://thejennabides.livejournal.com/) for the brainstorming and the handholding; [](http://merith.livejournal.com/profile)[**merith**](http://merith.livejournal.com/) and [](http://darthanne.livejournal.com/profile)[**darthanne**](http://darthanne.livejournal.com/) for the moral support, and [](http://lil-1337.livejournal.com/profile)[**lil_1337**](http://lil-1337.livejournal.com/) and [](http://misanagi.livejournal.com/profile)[**misanagi**](http://misanagi.livejournal.com/) for the quickie betas.

  
  
  
  
**Entry tags:**   
|   
[fic](http://postwarmiracles.livejournal.com/tag/fic), [friendshippy](http://postwarmiracles.livejournal.com/tag/friendshippy), [haruhi](http://postwarmiracles.livejournal.com/tag/haruhi), [kyouya](http://postwarmiracles.livejournal.com/tag/kyouya), [ouran](http://postwarmiracles.livejournal.com/tag/ouran), [pg-13](http://postwarmiracles.livejournal.com/tag/pg-13), [tamaki](http://postwarmiracles.livejournal.com/tag/tamaki)  
  
---|---  
  
_  
**(fic) Someday My Prince Will Come (Ouran, friendshippy, crossdressing, PG-13)**   
_   
written for [](http://ponderosa121.livejournal.com/profile)[**ponderosa121**](http://ponderosa121.livejournal.com/)...happy birthday! ♥ Surprise? ^^;;;

 **title:** Someday My Prince Will Come  
 **fandom:** Ouran High School Host Club  
 **pairings:** friendshippy, mild Tamaki/Kyouya and very mild Tamaki/Kyouya/Haruhi  
 **genre:** humor, crack-like  
 **warnings:** crossdressing, Disney princess references, general silliness, first time writing this fandom  >.>;; (this should be a warning, shouldn't it?)  
 **notes:** many thanks to [](http://thejennabides.livejournal.com/profile)[**thejennabides**](http://thejennabides.livejournal.com/) for the brainstorming and the handholding; [](http://merith.livejournal.com/profile)[**merith**](http://merith.livejournal.com/) and [](http://darthanne.livejournal.com/profile)[**darthanne**](http://darthanne.livejournal.com/) for the moral support, and [](http://lil-1337.livejournal.com/profile)[**lil_1337**](http://lil-1337.livejournal.com/) and [](http://misanagi.livejournal.com/profile)[**misanagi**](http://misanagi.livejournal.com/) for the quickie betas. 

In spite of how illogical and paranoid it sounds, there are times when Haruhi wonders if the whole of Creation works in concert to mock her. Oh no, she will readily admit - it makes no sense to assume that one single person either could be or should be subjected to such an endeavor. There is absolutely no empirical, measurable reason to believe that all the forces of Heaven and Earth could be assembled, by whatever sinister force, simply to make her feel like a jackass. And yet, there are times when the evidence points to the contrary; when there's truly no other rational explanation for whatever grand cosmic joke is being acted out around her.

Most of those times, Tamaki is involved.

So, truly, Haruhi could not claim to be surprised to walk into Music Room Number 3 one day to find Tamaki dressed in a blue ball gown, glass slippers, and a tiara. In fact, so unsurprised was she that it was not until she spied Kyouya a few feet away, wearing a dress with a yellow skirt, a blue bodice and puffy blue-and-red sleeves and engaged in quiet conversation with a sparrow perched upon his finger, did Haruhi think to ask, "What's going on?"

"Ah!" Tamaki cried, turning toward her with an elegant flourish of his silken-gloved hand. "There's our prince!" Off to his right, three of the club's patrons applauded politely, until they noticed that Tamaki's smile had slipped into a pout, at which point they stopped clapping and pouted, too. "Haruhi, you're not in costume!"

"Uh...costume?"

"I sent you an email," Kyouya put in. The sparrow on his finger chirped at her in a wholly reproachful way.

"You did?"

Kyouya sighed. "Haruhi, do you even check your email?"

"Um..."

Hikaru and Kaoru - as if on cue - appeared beside her, one at each arm. They wore gowns that matched exactly in design and form, but not in color - Hikaru's was pink, and Kaoru's was blue. "Come on," they said, "We'll help you change!"

Haruhi looked at each of them in turn, and then pointedly turned her gaze over her shoulder. Honey was dressed in an elaborate golden ball gown, dancing in waltz-like circles with Mori, who wore a fine suit of dark blue princely clothes, furry paw-like gloves, a set of false beastly teeth with huge canines protruding from his lower lip, and huge fuzzy ears poking out from his hair. "I don't have to wear a poufy skirt, do I?"

"Oh, no!" Tamaki declared. "You're supposed to be our prince today!"

"Prince?" She glanced again at Mori. "Isn't he the prince?"

"No, no, he's the Beast." Tamaki waved his hand dismissively as he spoke. "Besides - he's _Honey's_ prince. _You're_ supposed to be Prince Charming, for me."

"For all of us," the twins retorted darkly.

"Yes, yes, for all of us, but mostly for me."

"You haven't won yet," Kyouya said, sly side-smiling.

"Won what?" The trepidation in Haruhi's voice was almost thick enough to touch.

"The kiss," Kaoru murmured in her ear.

"From Prince Charming," Hikaru added in her other ear.

Haruhi paused, frowned, glanced at Kyouya, Kaoru, Hikaru, and finally Tamaki. "Wait. I thought you said _I_ was supposed to be Prince Charming."

Tamaki, Hikaru, and Kaoru nodded enthusiastically. Kyouya simply gave her another smug little smile.

Haruhi's eyes widened. "Wait a minute, now..."

"It's very simple," Tamaki began. "Our guests today are judging which one of us is best acting out our roles. I am Cinderella..." Just to emphasize the point, he tugged up the hem of his skirt and pointed the toes of one glass-slipper-covered foot. "As one can plainly see. Kyouya is Snow White - although it's much harder to tell because he is not nearly as fair and delicate as I."

Haruhi rolled her eyes. "And what are you two supposed to be?"

"Sleeping Beauty," Kaoru said, curtseying slightly.

"Both of you?"

"Yes," Hikaru replied, twirling around, making the skirt of his dress flutter about in a flattering manner. "Just like in the movie - pink dress, blue dress, pink dress, blue dress."

"I...see."

Kyouya pushed his glasses up onto the bridge of his nose. "Each guest has been given a rose upon entering today, and when she has made her decision, she may place her rose in the appropriate basket." He gestured towards a row of baskets, each with a card bearing someone's name placed in front of it. Tamaki's looked to be the most full, but Kyouya's wasn't far behind. Hikaru's and Kaoru's were about even with each other - not surprising, since most of the customers who favored them weren't likely to want to see them kissing anyone but each other. Honey's and Mori's were empty.

"No one has chosen Honey or Mori yet?" Haruhi asked.

"Some have," Hikaru replied, "But Mori keeps taking the roses out and presenting them to Honey on bended knee. Like so." He looked past Kaoru's shoulder - Haruhi did too - and indeed, Mori was doing exactly that, while Honey gasped and held his clasped hands to his cheek in surprise.

"Whoever wins," Tamaki declared, "Wins the kiss of Prince Charming." He bowed as he finished, and his customers began to applaud again. After a few seconds, he peered up at Haruhi and gave her a grin. "That would be you." After another moment, he amended; "If you would go put on your costume, that is."

Haruhi was about to protest, but she was cut off by Kaoru and Hikaru, dragging her off to help her into her outfit. By force, if need be.

Tamaki straightened, smiling, until a thought occurred to him that made him pale suddenly. He turned on his heel, sat down in the corner, and pouted mightily. "Why do _they_ always get to help her change?" he mutter-whined, under his breath.

\--

It was almost white enough to sparkle - white breeches and hose, a white jacket with silver and gold threads embroidered throughout, and a golden, lacy bit of cravat at the neck. Haruhi was still smiling the smile she'd broken into upon seeing herself in the mirror as she stepped back out into the main room of the Host Club. But then she spied Tamaki, and that smile began to fade.

A wishing well - a working one, if the sounds of water bubbling from it were to be believed - had been brought into the room, made it's centerpiece; and it was beside it that Tamaki stood. He peered down inside it, gave off a girlish sigh, and began to sing a long trill of notes. "La-ha-la-ha-la~a..."

The well echoed his singing back to him, so he did it again, once more with feeling. "La-ha-la-ha-la~aaah..."

Again the well echoed, and so Tamaki went for the big finish. "La-ha-la-tra-la-ha-la-ha-la~aaah!"

It was at this point that Kyouya slipped in beside him and muttered darkly, "Isn't that supposed to be _my_ line?"

Tamaki gave him a blank, wide-eyed look. "I didn't think you were going to do it."

"I was planning on it, yes..."

"Well, it was taking you so long..."

"I was working up to it."

"How much longer were you going to work up to it? I mean, it's been all afternoon and nothing from you..."

"It's been an hour at the most."

"Whatever - I was beginning to think you had lost your nerve!"

"You were trying to upstage me, is what you were doing."

"What? I? Never!"

"Please."

"I wasn't! I swear!"

At that, Kyouya's face twisted into a mask of resolve, and he began to sing as well, in a booming baritone voice. "Salaga-doola, menchicka-boola, bibbidi-bobbidi-boo."

"That's _my_ song!" Tamaki gasped.

"You stole my song, so I get to steal yours. That's what you get for trying to upstage me."

"What - you - Kyouya, how dare you!"

"Put them together and what have you got? Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!"

"Oh, that's it!" Tamaki took a deep breath and pressed his palm to his chest, much like an opera diva. "I'm wishing..." The well echoed only slightly, so he leaned down a bit so as to emphasize the effect. "For the one I love..."

"Salaga-doola, menchika-boola, bibbidi-bobbidy-boo."

"To find me...today."

"It will do magic, believe it or not..."

"I'm hoping...and I'm dreaming of..."

"Bibbidi-bobbidy-boo!"

"What the hell are they doing?" Haruhi muttered. Just a few steps behind her, the twins were laughing so hard they could barely stand up.

"Oh, Takashi!" Honey cried in dismay, leaping into Mori's arms. "It's so awful!"

Mori picked Honey up and held him close, placing a hand over Honey's ear and pressing Honey's face into the crook of his neck. "Avert your eyes, Mitsukuni - it will all be over soon."

Haruhi turned to the twins and asked, "Am I actually going to have to kiss one of these two idiots?"

Somewhere in all the hysterical laughter, they managed to nod. Kind of. Or maybe they had gone into convulsions. Either way, Haruhi wasn't having any more of this nonsense. "Stop it right now," she shouted, "Or I'm not kissing anyone!"

Her shout echoed around in the wishing well a couple of times, and Tamaki and Kyouya both abruptly stopped singing. Once they did, the Club's customers turned to Haruhi and broke into a round of polite - if grateful - applause. Shaking her head and grumbling under her breath - "Idiots, the both of them," - Haruhi turned and stalked off to another corner of the room, a contingent of her most loyal customers following in her wake, chattering excitedly amongst themselves about Haruhi's good sense and Haruhi's manly, masterful handling of the situation.

After a long, quiet moment, Kyouya said, "Your falsetto could use some work."

"Yeah?" Tamaki shot back. "Well...well...you were off-key! So there!"

\--

Haruhi was sipping tea with her group of customers, watching Kaoru and Hikaru play up the boys-love contingent out of the corner of her eye, and just starting to think maybe this wasn't so bad after all when Tamaki approached with one of his shoes sitting on a velvet pillow. He held it out to her with a curtsey and a proud smile. "Here you go!"

Haruhi frowned. "Why would I want your shoe?"

"It's not a _shoe_ , it's a glass slipper, and you want it so you can put it on me."

She frowned more. "Why on Earth would I put your shoe on for you?"

"Because that's the way the story goes!" Tamaki curtseyed again and held the pillow out that much more. "Here, take it!"

"I don't want it."

"But you have to - that's the way the story goes!"

"Look, you took the shoe off. You can put it back on again. I'm not touching your feet - that's just disgusting."

"What?" Tamaki straightened, indignant. "My feet are not disgusting!"

"They are to me."

"I just had a pedicure yesterday!"

"I'm not putting your shoe on for you!"

" _Glass. Slipper._ And you have to, because that's the way..."

"I don't care how the story goes. Put the shoe on yourself or walk around with a cold foot. See if I care!" And with that, she got up, bowed to her customers and excused herself from the table.

"But...I...in the story..."

"I knew she wouldn't go for it," Kyouya murmured into Tamaki's ear.

Tamaki jerked back from him, arms flailing, nearly ending up flat on his backside since his one heel was about two inches higher than the other one. "Where did you come from? What are you today - my shadow?"

Kyouya pushed his glasses up onto the bridge of his nose, and then smoothed his skirt down with his palms. "Just making sure you're not cheating."

"Cheating?" Tamaki started out indignant, and then turned arrogant. "I don't need to cheat. I'm the king here, Kyouya." With that he turned on his heel, hitched up his skirts, and began to walk away, one heel clicking on the floor as he went, the other bare foot clumping dully.

"Your majesty is lopsided," Kyouya said.

"I know I'm lopsided!" Tamaki stopped, struggled for a few minutes with putting his shoe back on, and then went back to exiting dramatically.

\--

The roses had been counted. Then they had been recounted. Twice. There was no error on anyone's part. Tamaki and Kyouya were tied.

Haruhi sighed softly, pressing fingertips to her forehead. "Wonderful. They've both been acting like fools all afternoon, and now I have to kiss both of them. That's just...wait a minute..." She paused, fingers sliding down her cheek to stroke thoughtfully at her chin. "Unless..." And then she couldn't help but grin. A grin she had to suppress quickly, but still grinned nonetheless.

She approached the two of them - Tamaki and Kyouya, facing each other and both looking so pleased with themselves - at the head of the assembly, customers gathered around whispering excitedly to each other. She smiled the most gracious smile she could - a slight frown flickered over Kyouya's lips for a fraction of a moment before he made himself smile again - and, facing the customers, she stood between them, placing a hand on each one's shoulder. "So. I see we have a tie. I suppose this means you're both expecting a kiss from Prince Charming. Is that right?"

"Indeed it is," Tamaki all but purred.

"Exactly so," Kyouya replied, one eyebrow arching slightly.

"Well," Haruhi declared. "I just don't know which one of you I should kiss first. Why don't you both close your eyes, and I'll count to three, and when I get to three, I'll decide. Ready?"

Tamaki and Kyouya exchanged a glance - Tamaki's was competitive; Kyouya's, suspicious - and then both did as they were told and closed their eyes.

Haruhi moved her hand to the back of Tamaki's head, pulling him closer. "One," she murmured, and Tamaki's lips puckered up in anticipation.

Haruhi turned to Kyouya, breathed "Two," over his mouth, and on instinct he moved in.

"Three!" Haruhi cried, jerking her head back just in time to avoid them both. Kyouya's mouth met Tamaki's, and as they kissed Haruhi peered around Kyouya's back to grin at the customers, who were cheering as if this were the best thing they'd ever seen. For their parts, Hikaru and Kaoru were leaning shoulder-to-shoulder, laughing tears trailing down their cheeks. Honey was sitting on Mori's shoulder applauding enthusiastically.

When the kiss broke - lips parting slowly - when Tamaki opened his eyes and saw Kyouya opening his, he jerked back, appalled. "You! Haruhi, you tricked me!"

Kyouya smiled a tiny, superior smile. "You didn't see that one coming?"

"What? No! Haruhi, I want my kiss, damn it!"

But Haruhi was already leaving, waving good-night, with the customers following closely on her heels, and if the chatter was any indication, this was the finest party in Host Club history.

Haruhi was happy, because she'd managed to worm her way out of one of Tamaki's schemes _and_ she'd gotten to keep the fine Prince Charming outfit the twins had given her.

Hikaru and Kaoru were happy, because any time Tamaki could be tweaked was okay by them.

Honey was happy because that was his way, and Mori was happy because Honey was happy.

Kyouya was happy because Haruhi was such fun when she was clever, and the fact that the boys-love fangirls were giving the Host Club free advertising all over the campus didn't hurt, either.

Tamaki never brought up the kiss again. He did, however, complain for weeks about the fact that no one had helped him with his glass slipper.

*the end!*  



End file.
